Category Archives: Quotes

Golden Globe Reflections and Ponderings

Here are some of my top moments from the 2013 Golden Globes:

  1. “Everyone’s getting a little loose now that we’re all losers!” – Amy Poehler
  2. Paul Rudd’s teleprompter impromptu
  3. “That was Hillary Clinton’s husband!” – Amy Poehler
  4. Everyone’s delayed reactions to jokes they don’t get once they realize the camera is on them
  5. “Me too. I used to win prizes for that too” – Tina Fey’s response to Julianne Moore’s nomination for her portrayal of Sarah Palin
  6. “Kristin Wiiieegg” and “Will Pharrell” presenting nominees
  7. Tommy Lee Jones hating everything

Food for thought: T. Swift, don’t be disappointed that Adele beat you at something singing related. It will happen over and over again so better get used to it now.

These are funny too! http://mashable.com/2013/01/14/golden-globes-gifs/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Credit to Mashable for sharing this.

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I think it would be fun to produce an award show. Actually that would be too stressful. I want to be the person that gets to laugh and say, “Oh they looked pissed, cut to them!” The position would require someone who is up to date with their celebrity gossip so when Tina Fey says, “You know what Taylor Swift, you stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son…she needs some “me time” to learn about herself,” you can assume Taylor Swift is going to HATE it and everyone else wants to see her reaction. I don’t know the technical name for this position, but I think I’ll call it the Puss Spotter. A Puss Spotter also needs to be prepared. He/She needs to be able to anticipate a joke. For example, after Jodie Foster’s long-ass therapy session speech, a good Puss Spotter should expect a joke from the host such as, “Just making sure…Jodie Foster is a lesbian, right” – or something of that nature.

Watching all of my dream women on stage last night reinvigorated my fading dream to be a comedy writer. When I moved to Manhattan in July, I was energized, inspired, and confident. I had an idea of what I wanted to do with my life, but working at the restaurant started to depress me and caused me to change my dream. It seemed like being a successful television writer was impossible at worst and unrewarding at best. I decided to walk the streets dreamless and just see what happens. I cannot say one way or the other which I prefer – having a dream to work towards or to keep truckin’ and hope a dream will appear without even realizing it. I guess I’ll let you know once I know.

I can say this though with great confidence, it is better to be dreamless and hopeful than dreamful and hopeless. I have been both.

This may sound dramatic which, if you ask any of my friends, is a word no one would use to describe me, but I was almost brought to tears the two times Lena Dunham walked to the stage to accept her well-deserved Golden Globes: 1) Because watching her waddle in her heels TWICE was as painful as getting toothpaste in your eye and 2) Because of her genuine gratitude and humbleness She’s the woman!

The combination of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey delivering on their hosting duties, Lena Dunham and Adele winning has resulted in a dream reinspired– a word that Microsoft word does not recognize, because it isn’t a real word and also hasn’t been added in my Word dictionary yet. Glad I can add it. Now the question is, “where to start?”

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How To Not Get Hired

The process of interviewing for a job is a lot like being on the show, “The Voice.”

  1. Thanks to YouTube, your talents are recognized and they invite you to audition
  2. With their backs facing you, you perform so they can hear you “sing”
  3. If they liked what they heard, their chairs turn around so they can look at you
  4. Then they put you on the show
  5.  You lose or…
  6.  You win and no one hears from you again

On the off chance that Christina Aguilera and Cee-Lo aren’t vying for your vocal chords, the job process goes as follows:

  1. Your parents tell you to apply for a job
  2. You go onto LinkedIn
  3. You apply for a job
  4. If you aren’t a complete fuck-up, you get an email asking when they can call you for a phone interview
  5. If the phone interview goes well, they invite you to come into the office and meet with the people you would potentially be working with
  6. Then they drag it out for two weeks and tell you that they decided to hire someone internally
  7. Rinse (cry) and repeat

Step 6 happened yesterday.

I wish I didn’t have to hold back and be professional when talking with recruiters/interviewers. I want to be real with them and be able to say, “Listen sister (or brother), Let’s not beat around the bush here. No one likes bullshit. I’m not going to apply for a job that I am underqualified for and you wouldn’t have brought me in here if you didn’t think I was qualified. I know you know I’m not stupid. I will do this job better than anyone else. I’m a buried fucking treasure. You can take my word for it. Thank you.” Maybe I’ll change my cover letter to just that followed by my second favorite quote when it comes to writing*,

“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.”

-William Strunk Jr., Elements of Style

I think my next blog post will just be a screenshot of my resume.

* My first favorite quote regarding writing is by one of my favorite authors, KV, “Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.”

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I thought that college was going to just hand me my independence – turns out I was going to have to find it on my own.

– Danielle Dweck

I thought that …

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